Finding a support group

Many people with cancer find a support group to be invaluable: a place where it’s OK to be down, up, don’t know, bald, bad-tempered, frightened, furious – and so on. Co-patients understand and empathise in a way that others can’t, however much they care. Groups can be particularly valuable for people who live alone or who find it too emotional an experience to talk to family or close friends.

Some groups are informal, while others are more structured, and may include guest speakers. If you want to try them out (and it’s a good idea to visit more than one), the best place to start enquiring is with your doctor or specialist nurse. There may be one in your hospital, or local to your home or work. Be aware that many of these are run by patients and/or ex-patients without formal training. This is probably fine most of the time, but Cancerbackup says that if local support groups are offering counselling, they would advise callers to check what qualifications and experience the people doing the counselling have. You can find details of local support groups through Cancerbackup (tel: 0808 800 1234, cancerbackup.org.uk) and Macmillan Cancer Relief (tel: 0808 808 2020, macmillan.org.uk). Some charities (eg, Breast Cancer Care, breastcancercare.org.uk) have ‘chat’ facilities, so users can share experiences online.

Flower remedies

Feelings need support from the moment of diagnosis, says GP Dr Andrew Tresidder. Flower remedies work on our thoughts and feelings to retune and rebalance us back to ourselves. From day one, take Rescue Remedy by Nelsons or Emergency Essence by Jan de Vries frequently through the day for several weeks. For ongoing fear, try Peace and/or Confidence by Balancing Blooms, Recovery Plus by Ainsworths or Fears by Bailey.